Last Days

Driving through this highway of no light,
Windscreen smothered with filth,
The mirror brings little respite
To see the lights flashing by.

Just enough to view the inside,
The flashlights are mere candles
In this road so dark,
The night so windy.
*

Walking through the tunnel so dark,
The bright light incinerating slowly.
The distance unfathomable,
The darkness unobliterable.

Innumerable known faces,
Groping through the memory,
Have all gathered together
To guide the soul to sanctity.

Obligations to fulfill,
Desires to meet,
The long lost ones
Awaiting impatiently to greet!



---- a person in his last days...

The Wingless Butterfly

Meandering through the silvery night
Your fatal attraction drawing me near,
Shaping the vague silhoutte
Enshrouding the misty cradle of my dreams;
Praying that never does
The opaque clouds veil you---
Oh! Enchanting Full Moon!
Oh! The irresistible goddess of the night!


Lost in the forest of desires
Flapping my path beside you,
The blind ones can see me
And the deaf hearing;
Not even the swans share
This ethereal road with us!


Like a bolt of thunder,
Paralysed by the excruciating pain
I see my predator vacillating above.
The futile efforts to fly away,
The somaesthesia of the tormenting grasp
I look up anticipating my death;
One last prayer for the patrician beauty,
One last sight of the indescribable moon!

Smoke of Life

Dense smoke from the chimney
Gushing out with life;
No air can subside it,
No wind can diffuse it;
Wanting to take up challenges
Notwithstanding the barriers ahead.


Trying to fulfill its ambition
Of rising high to be proclaimed
The Angel of Clouds;
Trying to shield itself
From the inevitable wind
Making it fade away.


The diffusing smoke
Surrendering to its destiny,
Fading away till no one to see,
Not a trace of it will remain,
Engulfed by the forces of nature,
Only its memories will remain
With the bird it choked in flight!



------ Here smoke depicts the life of a man. Emerging from the chimney (womb) it is exuberant and joyful in nature, ready to take the challenges (wind). The high ambitions a man sets himself as the 'Angel of Clouds'.. the smoke tries to touch the clouds, trying to touch the sky. But inevitable death can't be avoided and like a man, it slowly fades towards its death. The smoke fades away till unseen of.. like the body of a dead man... who has ceased to exist!!

Obscurity

The burnt earth
Formed into shape,
The cloud comes alive
With the touch of holiness.
The obscure visions,
The smoke dispersing,
Mind deified.


The feel of nothingness
Amidst everything,
The burnt remains
Left back as an abandoned child.
Clock relieved of keeping
The tide of time!


Suffocating smoke
Rendering peace to the mind,
Wispy visions providing pictures
Of mountains unconquered
Light from the candle, manoeuvring
In this strong breeze.


Shifting clouds,
Unwillingly carried by wind;
Passionate breath,
Mottled with godly blessings;
Benumbed mind,
Trying to forget days past!


--------this is written from the context of a person(probably a sadhu) after smoking a 'chillum'... when he thinks of the unconquered mountain of his god...
'The burnt earth.. formed into shape'.. symbolizes the chillum...
'The burnt remains left back...' symbolises the ash which is left back...

What Destiny Holds...

The shimmering lights shinning so bright
Trying to find a way with my candle-light;
Robbed of my own fields,
Robbed of my own lands,
This alienation causing my anomie.

The free air, unimpedimented,
Lashes on those concrete walls,
The owl has ceased to maul
The birds given up flying;
The aesthetic minds have been demented!

Eons of luminous bulbs
Unable to banish the darkness,
Life from the artificial shrubs
Lowering the coveted finesse,
Trampled by the hard shoes of destiny.

Independent of the sole source of energy
Artificiality ruling over nature,
Flagrant thoughts mature
Age of building an effigy;
What destiny holds!


------ this was written in gurgaon... I found out that there were only 2 types of people living over there--- one stinkingly rich, and the other hoping that he'll find a meal after the starved day... nothing in between... though gurgaon was initially an arid area... now its turning into a rich metropolis with innumerable skyrisers and world's leading companies establishing their bases there...

Bequest

Standing in this shore of no light,
The cold wind caressing my face;
A 'dingy' approaching in the storm,
Never did I feel its importance.
Struggling in a delirium to save it
I was being swallowed in by the quick sand.

The sting of the scorpion benumbed
My ability to fight against;
Gradually sinking in this sand
Like the feathers of a bird being torn apart.
The crustacean layer covering,
Quenching the need for stitches!

Mourning the death of the newborn,
Obscure to me,
Sinking till the throat,
The eyes free to visualize;
The hawk relying on its eyesight
Only to be pestered by the winds.

Uprooting the tree
Not to leave any trace,
The shards of crabs climbing,
Nesting in my body;
Hoardes of parasites and leeches
Making their way to feast.

Differentiating the layers
Of moss and lichens,
I lie stagnant, succumbed in this quicksand;
The protruding sockets
Provide naive visions
Of uncounted boats drowning!


------- this is actually a prostitute's story... being drowned in the quicksand(soceity)... the lichens and moss growing on her skin (filth)... the crustaceans (people using her). The idea is Sourav's ... hence the piece is dedicated to him!!!!

The Phlegmatic Moon

A pearl in the black velvet
Listening intently to the breath,
The clear, solemn darkness
The cold tear to caress---
The mountain ravine guzzling
In this rugged lassitude.

Oh! The virgin silk-skinned damsel,
The lascivious desire dissemble;
Oh! The undefiled queen of the night
Stay up late, so I might,
See your ineluctable face
Reflected in the watery haze.

To see you gleaming in my eyes
To hear the languish in your voice,
I feel my soul comforted
Among the myriad layers of darkness;
Oh! The virgin silk-skinned damsel,
Oh! The undefiled queen of the night!!

-------- The moon is shinning so brightly... but I can only see her through the iron bars of my window...

Firefly

Shrouded in the darkness
Nothing visible in sight,
Moving about with surreptitious guile
With its own faint light;
No one does it depend upon
To show its path,
Guided by its own light
Flying, without being hurt.

The lighted ship
In the invisible firmament,
Guided by itself
Towards its own atonement;
Unmatched from those halogen bulbs,
Condoned light to show.
Sailing impeccably
In this sea of obscurity,
Like an asteroid in the night sky
Searching for its destination.

A flash of light
In this esoteric darkness,
Obliterating the barriers
In its ephemeral vision;
The minuscle light to show
The path in this mysterious voyage.
As the sun sets in the horizon,
A new sparkle is born,
Escorting the butterflies
Towards the withered flowers.

Transcendence

Like a lighted candle enclosed
Within the glassy walls,
The flame of life burns
In this ephemeral reality;
Savouring its own warmth
Unscathed from the mysterious breeze.

The light will gradually fade
Like the crepuscular blaze of sunset,
Only to be obscured by the rebirth
Of the nocturnal grandiose.
The ticking of clock counting
The days set by destiny.

We are, but the withered flowers
Trodden by the step of time;
Your warm embrace
Will hold its amiable touch
Like the pure mountain snow
In the hands of time!

Eternal Sleep

A spell I can't wake from,
Sleeping soundly like a hibernating reptile;
Feeling your tears gliding on my face,
I lie dying in your arms.

Trying to wipe your wet cheeks
With my immovable hands,
I run for a shelter
In this tormenting blitzkreig!

Holding your hand
For the very last time;
The Angel of Death is here,
To lead me into the Kingdom of Silence.

Like the dark sand
Resting at the bottom of the sea,
Journeying through the abyss,
Death is the darkened horizon we'll reach!

Luscious is my rest,
As the kiss of my loved one,
Her veiled heart knows no bounds,
Covered by a black cloud of sadness.

Forever shall I roam
On the banks of oblivion's river,
The petals of withered roses
Settling on my scorched tears!

The Wait

The iridescent hues of sea-water,
The invocation of the flying birds,
Crepuscular light slowly fading,
Twisted shadows I face.

Walking alone without light around,
No light I see, no darkness do I feel;
Looking around to find a way
My cynical mind finds none.

Is this reality or a dream?
I wait for a sign, crying for relief,
The dank air is all I inhale
Walking along my own footprints!

Feeling the end approaching near,
I don't know where to turn,
Lying down on the hollow earth
Till eternity do I wait.

Anarchy

Shadowy walls,
Invisible light from the bulb;
Faltering,
Along the dark memory lanes.


Like a firefly
To a man on a bleak desert night;
Shrouded in the dark,
Except for the spark.

The drive through the highway,
With the headlights leading,
Learning to use the 'cones'
On hearing those impeccable tones!

Trying to look for the faint moonlight,
Masked by the black trees;
Walking through this land of tranquility
Searching for a way in this surreptitious serenity!

------------ the title is such because of the rumbling n jumbling of the entire piece....

Ritual

In the clearing of the forest, a man was lying almost dead. Age has forced him to be in this body not for long. His family members count the last moments of his life.

A crowd has gathered around the body of the man eagerly waiting for his last breath. It has been a ritual for all the people of the tribe to see the last rites performed. They believe that this vision is holy and on seeing this, they would gather courage and strength to fight the other tribes in the fight for supremacy.

The old man lay there writhing in pain, difficult for him to breathe. His eldest son steps close to him. The silent crowd stood gazing at the son. It is now time to carry out the ritual. The son gets hold of his father's right hand, The hand which has fought vigorously over the years to establish the supremacy of his tribe. With monsterous strength the son twists and wriggles the hand until it is broken. Then with a knife he cuts through the flesh of his almost-dead father's right hand and brings out the radial bone. By this time, individual chantings are heard from the people around.

He lifs the bone aloft for everyone to see and a cheer from the crowd fills the air. Then suddenly the son starts chewing on the bone until it is crushed to pieces. Astonishing is the maxillary strength of the man. The crushed bone is then buried in the ground and the body left to rot.

Everytime a man of this tribe dies, the same ritual is performed by his eldest son. The pain the dying person suffers in his very last moments reminds him of the pain endured in his lifetime. It is believed that he will die a very peaceful death now that the pain has gone away along with his body. The soul will now be free from all bondages and will no longer undergo the pain received in his lifetime. The burial of the crushed bone signifies the bondage with Mother Earth. And the body left to rot shows that his memory will slowly fade away in the minds of his tribesmen as his body rots to nothing.

---- this is the first short story in this blog... dunno if such things really happen... this was a dream....

On the banks of Benaras

Without a loin to cover him up,

Just a stick to help,

Inhaling with utmost intent

The smoke of his God.

Days has he given up

The love for his life,

Sleeping on the ashes

His stick very close by.

Nobody turning towards him

Even to bother,

The smokey view manifests

The time for him to shudder.

The time for him to journey

Through the lands under spell,

Like a drowning pearl

In this world so knave.

Unfazed by soceity,

Like a firefly in the night sky,

Using its own faint light

To fly the shadowy 'Tundra'.

People take a dip

In the water so holy,

For him just a gaeity

Caressed by the chill.

Never feeling the raindrops

He so wishfully numb,

Not having to feel the incineration of hunger,

Not having to constrain his senses!

Like a sedentary cocoon,

Metamorphosed from a catterpillar,

Never wanting to remember those days

When soceity never conferred him a comforting healer.

The 'Rudraksha' reminded him

Of those who were so near.

Not having to leave them

But left in the hands of Death!

His life, a mere coral

In the deep blue ocean,

With the rays of the sun

Flickering with the brightest grace!

---- There's a long story associated with this... He haunted me everywhere, in dreams in real life, everywhere...

Traumatised

Killed many men

Whose face I've never seen,

Never did want to hear

His historic ancestry.

Only I knew

I had to kill

The soldier draped in black.

All is set here---

Of who's to win,

This battle is a meagre offering

To the God of Mercy!

The feel

Of inhuman torture suffered,

Unknown to me;

Thanking my God

For the marvel performed.

The stench of rotten flesh,

The lacerated wounds,

Make thy haven.

Thinking of those golden days

When I never knew fear,

This fear has overhauled me now---

The Fear of Death!

Looking at those innumerable stars above

I count the endless bodies.

A stomach filled with hunger,

A heart packed with fear,

I rage against death

Like a burning splincter

Hurled into the vast sea.

Never knowing a way

To breach these high walls

My mind has created;

Praying not to endure

The agonies of those dying souls.

The effect of morphine

Isn't enough to subside the pains

The soul has suffered,

I gaze at the setting sun

To know no more bequest has been offered!

Photograph

The cherubic smile,

The only beatification

In the distant mile,

The reign of the ricochet hex.

Veiled by the cryptic obscurity,

The chimerical eyes

Glowing like the aureole,

Parching the black roses of autumn.

Serving as a chauvinist

The priest has no answers,

The avaricious mind

Wants no more kinship!

The life so perturbed,

The past so hideous,

The onerous dilemma

Seems to fade away.

The want, to gaze forever,

The hypnotic effect

Erasing the chagrin,

Looking for a lifetime--- at this photograph!

My Enticing Chaperon

Your burning kiss
Runs shivers within me;
Only to know you're there
I sense a glorious time ahead.

Not even the lights
Try to partake,
The marvellous relation
That we share.

Addicted, I'm to this air
I don't want to share,
The clandestine bondage that we have
Incinerate apart slowly!

Thirst that I'll keep
The ambiguous visions before me
Time to bid you adieu---
Oh! The butt of my joint!!


----- after a smoke in my room so dark and nobody to disturb....

The Call : An ode to Grass II

Stranger in a strange town,
Everybody's looking down;
Where is he going?
What is he doing?


Thousand eyes staring at him
Watching his impeccable actions;
Has anybody seen him before?
Does anybody know his door?

Nobody to walk by his side,
Nobody to hold him up;
Faltering in the concrete road,
Only to be helped by the pebbles!

There she stood in the crowd
With eyes full of compassion,
There she walked towards him
With a heart full of affection.

Her smile alluring him to go on,
Her eyes radiating the energy for him to move,
Her lips moving ... to say something---
"Nobody's alive here... JUST YOU!!"

Paranoa : An ode to Grass I

Strumming in silence

In these shores of tranquility;

Walking in circles

In this road to eternity.

Flying,

Without wings

In search of

My silhoutte dreams.

Running away from the toxicity,

Over shards of sand,

The scream

Resounding in the vacuum.

Faint light

I receive from the morning moon,

In this thirst-filled desert

To guide me home!

Possessed

The said hour has arrived,
The full moon shinning bright;
Blazing, scorching the tender earth
With its haunting cold power.

I feel a change within me,
The cold eyes in the light glistening,
The veins carry blood in flames
To a heart uncaressed by emotions.

Am I possessed?

Draining the warmth of my soul,
Trapped in its ice-cold blaze;
My mind never listening to the heart,
The eyes full of revenge and fury.

I feel my strength slowly fading,
My voice crying for help-- unheard;
My mind tormenting my inner-self,
Filled with rage, hatred and malice.

I am possessed!!

Bohemians

We are the Bohemians,
The people of our age;
Breaking all reasons,
Our own law we rage.

We are the Bohemians,
No routine we have;
Waking in the noon,
The morning already past.

We are the Bohemians,
Unfazed by soceity;
Few people we know
To talk of life and piety.

Life, we make our own,
No place to call our home;
Lost, never will we be---
Got ourselves to care and see.

A mark we leave on earth,
To be kept hidden from birth;
The Bohemians we are---
People ahead of our age!

------ written for the hostel magazine "Bohemians"

Valleys of Hades

The wind,
Howling in agony;
The valleys,
Deserted, Uninhabited;
Beyond the mountains,
The reign of Darkness.

Forgotten domains---
Curse and Hate collide,
Darkness and Cold meet,
And Truth turning to a Lie!

Sunlight,
Never touches the poisoned ground;
Laugh,
Of the undead never resound;
Beyond the mountains,
The valleys of Hades.

The flame of love
Uncaressed by the cold,
Powers never rise
Grasped by the Hand of Dead!



-------In older Greek myths, Hades is the misty and gloomy abode of the dead, where all mortals go. There is no reward or special punishment in this Hades, akin to the Hebrew sheol. Hades refers both to the ancient Greek underworld, the abode of Hades, and to the god of the dead himself. 'Hades' in Homer referred just to the god of dead!

PAIN

Life is pain---
Addicted
I am to this pain;
Slit the throat,
Watch you groan,
Wreathe in pain!

Stop mourning for the dead,
The living suffers,
You think you are devastated?
Enter me---
You can witness inhuman torment.

Death is pain---
Addicted
I am to this pain;
Mourning the souls of the dead,
Hearing the anguish in their voices,
Feeling the morbidity of their thoughts!

Look into my eyes---
What you see
Is not me,
Its just a dormant stage
Of what I'm expected to be.

Saviour

Banished,
For a crime not committed;
Walking,
In fear of this restrained place;
Feeling,
A darkened force surrounding;
Wandering,
Endlessly in the solitude and pain!

Darkness falls,
Approaching the barren wastelands;
Cries of anguish,
From unknown creatures never seen;
Haunted,
By the strange thoughts and visions;
Lost,
In a world of utter darkness!

Alone,
Praying for a saviour;
Struggling,
At the thought of redeeming;
The people's saviour,
Listening to the voices in the wind;
Pain,
Tormented by the nightmare!

Empty Dreams

Surrounded by my loneliness,
Surrounded by my thoughts,
The lost dreams in my empty eyes,
I submit to my destiny
Before the invisible black mirror.

Blinded by the illusions of life,
The senseless memories seem to be forgotten,
The day and night I feel
Without the twilight setting in;
The dream of eternity I dream!

The thoughts lead me
Through never-entered paths,
Lost in the blind ends they are
I cannot turn back,
I just see bleak pictures of the past.

In this life without light,
My thoughts are controlled
By the bleakness of the past;
The shackles chaining my life
Becoming feeble and weaker.

The feet are too tired to carry me longer,
Tired I feel for my life,
I want to close my eyes to sleep---
Sleep till eternity
And forget my empty dreams!!

Your Own God

Torturing Humans
For their Gods,
Crushing their wills
For their Gods,
Nailed bodies on the cross
For their Gods,
Pyres burning
For their Gods.

War, Death and Sorrow
Doesn't bring the world a nice 'morrow;
Couldn't He do anything against it,
The adored God, The Imperial Being!

Children sacrificed by mothers
For their Gods,
Women burnt alive
For their Gods,
Masses dying in pain
For their Gods,
The burning fire of their sins
For their Gods.
Their God exist only in beliefs,
Their souls subdued by lies they believe,
Liberate the thoughts, Possess the courage,
Believe your own power, Believe YOUR OWN GOD!!

Silent Message

Late at night
Everybody's asleep,
I try to close my eyes,
I try to get some sleep.

Looking outside through the window
I see the solitary light,
The light that glows,
The moon that shines so bright.

Thinking of the distance
That separates us,
The moon seems to say---
"I'm as close to her as to you!"

With no one knowing my fate,
With no one bothering even to hate,
I pass a silent message
To the person who let me forget them all!!


---- well don't ask me the person whom it is supposed to be written....

A Night!!

Taking a drag in...
Pushing a puff out...
Wonder how it feels...
To go out loud and shout....

Scream out your name...
Tell you my pain...
Brutal memoir of nothingness...
Hollow insides of.............................................

Carve your name on a rock,
Unable to be erased by the rain;
Write your name on the sand,
Just to wash away the pain.

The shout goes on to faint,
Your picture I paint,
Not on those material canvases,
But a canvas unimaginable!!


----- this was a joint write... the first part (first two stanzas) was written by gurl..... and the following part was finished by me...

Sacrifice

Tied at the altar,
Her pure soul
Will soon be free,
Her dear life
Will soon cease.

The dagger,
Ready to split her head;
The corpse,
Ready to be fed;
Tied body, fulfilling the rite.

She's bleeding fast,
Floating in a pool of blood,
Her skull split open.
This will suffice
The petty sacrifice.

The cheeks filled with tears,
The brows filled with sweat,
Time has come for her---
Living away from hate,
Death, her eternal fate!!

Decision

Alone in the dark,
Trapped within the walls,
A subtle voice resounds,
Yearning to be free.

A clear voice sounded,
From the depths of the mirror;
"I'll give you eternity
If you pull me out."

Promising anything,
Beseecching with all might,
The whole life can be changed
For only a single step!


----- was written on the day of HOLI '08... had lots of shiddhi(i made it) and in da evening the damn mind was imagining all absurd things.. cudn't think of a title to this crap even... thanx to ashwin, kep ur suggestion..

Sky High

Threaded rivers,
Geometrical pastures,
Green fields,
Plethora of trees.

Shadow
In the invisible penumbra,
Food
Scurrying for life.

Scorching sun,
Obstinate breeze,
Forcing to retreat
Challenging the will!

No shelter,
No society,
No friends,
Lonely rings in the blue sky.

Sunrise
Struggle for food,
Hunger
Appetite to kill.

Swooping dive,
Clawed kill,
Relinquished desire,
Food for the soul!!

Wanting You Alone...

Lying in the room so dark
Hearing the clock ticking so fast,
I'm waiting for you with my eyes closed,
Wondering whom you are talking to.

The night slows down
Hoping it won't end without you,
No dreams except you,
No thoughts except you.

Living a life on my own,
I never cared until you filled my mind,
Now the chill gets to the bone
To think of getting you alone!

I've waited for you
For so long,
All I wanted is you
No other thought.

My love for you is still unknown,
Wanting to explore you,
Wanting to fade into you
Death, no matter what!!

Delusion

Like an island
In a sea of people
Sitting in a lonely chair,
In a lonely room,
In a lonely house,
In a lonely world.

Living in hate
Running from crowds
Nothing is much comfortable
Than the desolation of the soul!

Like the North Star
In the star-studded sky
Lying in a lonely bed,
In a lonely room,
In a lonely house,
In a lonely world.

Looking in the mirror
Remembering the distant light
Of a star, dead long ago,
Ageing, fading, still possessing the glow!

Embrace the Greater Power

The sky is turning red,
Its not your petty sunset,
There's something big about it.
There's no breeze,
But I sense a gale is on its way.

The ferocity pervades everywhere
Waiting to be released at last;
There's no need to fear,
Embrace the ferocity as your own
And inject its venom into your veins.


All these days you've prayed in vain,
Now see if your prayers are to be answered.
Its a much greater power
But is banished by the teachings of foolish men.
Mankind has worshipped the sun
As the sole source of power,
But, what if ---
The sun altogether wasn't there,
And a much greater power has taken its place!!

The Phanton of Manhattan

Disfigured and chained from birth,
Giry helped me to reincarnate.
I travelled to the New World
Seeking a life to live.

Living a life in desolation
In the darkest cells of the Opera,
I mastered the art----
Everybody thinking me to be the Phantom!

Helped Chagny to reach the zenith,
I could not show my face to the world.
Being masked and draped in black,
Watching the world from the roof of my mansion---- unseen.

Stranded in a shore of darkness
The cold waves bring me sorrows.
With a vision of the past in my mind,
All I crave is to see her back in life!

No one can see me,
Rumours spreading of a Phantom,
I slip into the crowds
To greet my son.

Now that I can buy half of France,
The most powerful man in Manhattan,
My only love is here-----
But I cannot have her!

With a voice sweeter than the nightingale,
She sang next to me without recognisation,
I gave her my ring,
Though she thought it was part of the play!

No longer do I worship Mammon,
Never indulging in Hashish,
All I long for----
To get my love back.

All my life I've known hatred,
All my life I've spent in desolation,
All my life I've struggled to get back my love,
But now, I get her back------with a bullet pierced in her heart!!

My soul screamed in bewildering pain,
Like a wandering albatross it wanted to fly away
Above and across the ocean of despair,
To fly alongside the soul of my MATE!!

From the Pages of Germanic Mythology...

What is that moving in the trees?
Its not something that everyone sees,
Am I possessed or gifted
To see the most beautiful girl ever.

So swiftly she's moving
As if there are no trees.
But what of those
That I see, but cannot pass through.

The hair swaying in the breeze,
So white as the lifeless soul.
The flowing white robe
Was whiter than the late autumn snow.

Now I could see her friends,
Gathering along the lake
Making a circle in the dark
Dancing, without rejoice, without notice.

On the lake shore,
Where the forest met the lake,
I could see 'alvringar',
With the grass flattened as a floor.

How beautifully they danced,
How contrasting they looked in the night,
With a pentangle over their heads
Protecting and securing from the foes.

With what happened I couldn't imagine,
Returning with morbid images,
I see my friends ageing
And me remaining flabbergasted!!

Superstition

Born with a mind
Free from suspicion,
As you grew up
Your senses lost-- induced with superstition.

You never knew
What distinction they made ----
Language, colour, race
Creed, religion and face!

But with your inner strength
You could detect the love
That everyone possess
With people sharing the same place.

Leaders utilising the external distinctions
To channel our inborn aggression
In the wrong direction ---
We merely serving as his blind disciples.

Open your eyes, breaking all barriers,
Crush your superstition, overcome the suspicion,
Learn to trust,
Learn to think on your own.

Our love and compassion
Held at treason,
Waiting for all to utilise their own minds
To rise above the INDUCED SUPERSTITION!!

Destruction

A dark black cloud rises
A searing light blinding all eyes
A catastrophic wave of heat
Turning a sprawling city into a necropolis.

Taking it out in others
Showing what mankind is capable of
Destroy virtually anything
Destroy what man made!!

Feeding armed militia
With the food of the poor,
Feeding the greed
To make himself secure.

There's nothing to gain
In watching the others in pain
The grass grows from beneath
The scorched, ravaged ground.

Life holds nothing
But pain and death
Don't look for love
There is none left!!

The Journey called DAY....

the birth, the young, the wild and the playful..... (sunrise from chitre, camera:Cannon A610, time: 6:15 am)

demise..... bathed in the colours of life, full of experience.... OLD IS GOLD... (sunset from gairibas, camera: Cannon A610, time: 5:25 pm)

DREAM

The night's too cold to shiver,

And I'm too numb to quiver,

Everywhere I see, I see the same

The mind isn't working enough to relive me!

Am I dreaming?

Somebody punch me....

'Coz I cannot punch myself

The hands are too heavy to lift.

Somebody tell me where I am.

My senses aren't working

And I cannot remember

How I came here.

There is no shelter I can find

Trying to reach for the daylight,

I rage against the dying of the light,

Begging my heart out to relieve me from the pain.

In a garden of sorrows

Among the mourning of souls,

I hear a silent whisper

That tells me to walk alone.

My steps echo as I walk,

The chill gives me shivers

I open my eyes to see -----

All this was a dream!!

----- The picture was taken from Sandakphu (10.1.2008)...

JOURNEY

I heard a quiet subtle voice
Summoning me from afar,
But a voice much closer
Screams to me with unholy patience.

I've seen many unknown lands,
Never shown on any maps.
I've spoken to the demons
And the souls of the slaughtered.

As I pass through different lands
And meet different people,
I know that the weight of my soul
Will decide its final resting place!

Now that I'm lost in woods---
of never-ending black trees,
I think my end is near
'Coz I'd rather not live in fear---- than live at all!!

The voice again grows stronger
Asking me to look with better eyes.
This is my war----
And I'm fighting against me.

A fire lights inside me
That I never thought existed,
Thinking and remembering the hard times.
I'd rather not live in fear ---- than live at all!!

SON OF LIGHT

I would not know if the sun would rise,
'Coz light does not reach me.
I know I'm aging and I cannot see
Everywhere I look seems dark!

I fumble in the darkness
With the hands as my eyes,
My sensitive fingers lead the way
Through this dark path.

I can feel the black clouds gathering
In the already dark sky.
The rains soak the sour ground
And I can feel the demons crying inside me.

I cried before my gods,
I wept for my sins,
But my prayers havn't been answered
Maybe I'm destined to live like this!

Like a candle someone blew out,
The glow is there but slowly fading,
My soul lies shattered like the ashes
The son of eternal night ---
Wants to become the Son of Light!!

FREEDOM IN DEATH

I always have a feeling
Eyes upon me, watching me in my perpetual sleep
Dreams deceive me
My future depends on a mindless dream!

Afraid to walk the streets
In the coldness all alone
Running from shadows
I'm releived by the blackness of the night.

The whole world's becoming too much for me
With all the evil deeds crossing my head
I wish I were dead,
Only Death can give me another life to Live!!

I do not trust the people around me,I
'm losing all interest in my present life
Remaining secluded in my cornerI always think
Death can free me from all bondages.

Beyond the line, there is a ray of Hope,
Beyond the line the Unicorn trods unchained,
No darkness and despair prevailing there
Beyond the line, there is a New Life!!

What should I do?
When I cannot take it anymore
Death's face keeps haunting me
And just keeps coming for more.

FALLACIOUS KILLING

I lay in a corner with my limbs tied together
Smeared all over with blood, but not of my own,
I can see countless bodies without a head
Felt that in time i'll also be one of them.

Calling this sacrifice for God
Will this petty offering do any good?
With the vision of death in my eyes
I cannot run, I cannot scream!

Paralysed at the thought of death
I recollect those golden days of childhood
When everybody used to love and kiss me,
But I didn't realise that it was all for this day.

People around me dance at the sight of blood
Fanatics are eager for more heads--- more sacrifice
When will this night of doom end
With thousands of carcasses lying unattended?

The time is running out so fast
And the night is exploding everywhere
When hatred pulls the trigger
And sacrificial blood makes a stream.

In the world of Angels
Death is just a moment away
No other thought comes into my mind
Feeling I won't see daylight again!

I can't run away, there's no place to hide
Today or tomorrow they will get me.
I can't move, the knife is right at my throat
And whatever I do, DEATH is the only way out!!



-------This was after we (me & amitav) returned from LB's village home at Moutorh during Kalipuja '07. Over the night, around 3000 goats and about 180 buffaloes were sacrificed. That was some sight to see. Pity I didn't have the camera with me. We returned on the roof of a bus which absolutely made the trip wholesome....

A SAILOR'S NIGHTMARE

Standing there for a long time
The only noise to my ears
Was the sweet everlasting chime
Heard in the offing ... coming from a mile.

Paralysing me from my dreams
I cannot see anything that gleams
In the distant horizon
Even the light wasn't enough from the moon!

I could not decipher whether it was a distant ship,
Or a drowning woman---
Trying to recollect....The last sights of her man,
But I was strangely attracted towards it.

As I was closing in,
With the air of the silent night
Growing thin and thin...
I could hear it very clearly---
Though it wasn't in my sight.

Now that I was so sure
That it was a girl
She was succumbed by the whirl
I was too late to save her!!

There she was floating lifeless,
The water drenched the kid's dress.
No lifeboats came to save her
In spite of her shrill cries.

So innocent she looked,
So cheerful were her eyes,
She could not swim
Still she was floating!!

I didn't know her name,
Nor from where she came,
But she haunted me in my dreams
With her violent overture and screams.

I could not forget her
Even thought she was a stranger in a strange place,
How can I forget her face
When I hear her every night whispering.... in my ears!!



----- Initially I named it A Sailor's Swansong... This was written in the Design of Machine Elements class (Sem 5). SM sir was teaching Rivetted Joints and there I sat my mind lost somewhere else. The time was late october '07... Maybe because this was the first class of the day and I was still dreaming....

AFTERLIFE

Why can't I cross the line

From mortality to immortality?

Why can't I become unearthly

From being so earthly?

Let my body be shunned,

So that my soul may roam free.

Let me be charred,

So that I can be with my loved one.

Breaking all bondages

And passing through the ages

I can see everythingBut no one can see me!

When the mind is without fear

And I'm ready for another jaunt

I may inure in another body

And take a sojourn to Mother Earth!

DEATH... NO MATTER WHAT...

You can't be protected - there's nothing you can save,

Each breath you take only draws you closer to the grave.

You never laugh,

You always cry.

You sit there lonely wanting to die.

You're spirits been crushed - you're nothing no more,

Your life doesn't seem worth living for.

You've been abused so much that you are pleasured by pain,

People stop and stare as if you're crazy or insane.

But don't I beg you - save you're last breath.

I won't forget you - Even In -Death.

No one but I - Acknowledges the day that you were born,

No one but I - will miss you when you're gone.

But still you've slipped from my hands into the shadows of a different kind,

But you'll never be forgotten - Never In My Mind...

PSYCHOTIC THOUGHT

I'm sitting in the dark

With all the lights passing by---

I don't know if I'm lonely or shy,

Only I could feel that am happy to be alone.

The late October rains start to pour down

I see kids enjoying the droplets

But why do I feel that the rain brings in pain?

With the sky getting dark as my heart.

When I'm in need of Someone,

And I can even bleed for Her,

I only know hatred

And love only the colour Red!!

Out in the distance i see people

Enjoying the warmth of the sun,

But I sit faraway.... in solitude

Waiting for the chill of the night.

Then why do people call me psychotic

Even though I look as them?

Why do they run away from me

When I TRY to play with them?

Why do people not find me amiable

And never call me to talk?

Why do they never look at me

When I try call them for a walk?

No oracle can answer my questions

No priest can elucidate me properly----

Maybe I'll live a life that no one else did

Living with myself and talking to me alone!!

------- This was started one evening when I was sitting all alone in Vivekananda Park and the cars were going past with their lights on. This was when everybody was out shopping for the pujas (Durgapuja '07) (Ponchomi)

SITTING IN THE DARK

There are times when I’m inconsolable

When the world around me becomes too much

And my demons come out to feast on me again.

There are times when I’m hopeless

When I’m too lost to return home

And I don’t need your comforting touch

I just need to be left alone to sit quietly in the dark.

Don’t offer me a friendly hand,

nor a tender embrace of love,

Just let me surround myself with shadows

And let my troubles eat me whole.

Don’t try to save me when I can’t be saved

And keep your tender words for another day,

A day when the tides of my heart have changed

and my soul flows the other way.

But until that time remember that I love you,

And that you’re still the keeper of my heart.

But for the moment love is not my friend,

and your tender touch and sweetest smile

are like poison to my aching soul.

So let me be...

Let me sit alone in the dark,

Let me find comfort in forgotten lusts.

Let me bandage my heart with solitude

And dry my tears with time.

I know that you understand

And I pray that you’ll return

Because I long for when I can emerge from these shadows

And once again cherish the smile glistening

Across your sweet, tender face.

PHANTOM LOVE

All my life I've been in the dark,
To me life's been just am arc,
Of no ups but only downs
With me wearing only black gowns.

All my life i've been looking for her
But still couldn't find the real partner,
Like a thorn she appeared,
But before I could look up, she disappeared!!

LONELINESS

I have learnt to live alone,

The intricasies of bondage

Have no meaning to me,

Now my only friend is the boundless sea.

The waves have washed away my sins,

They splash upon the shores

Inflicting pain to themselves

While providing enjoyment to others.

As I lay sleepless on the shores,

Leering at the sea beside me,

I don't feel alone----

Looking at the stars above me.

I don't know if I'm Homeless,

But I know I'm sleepless,

There's no dreams to soothe me

Or make me cheerful once again.

I don't know if I'm abandoned,

But am surrounded by them----

The boundless Sea on one side

And the limitless Stars above.

I don't know if I'm deserted,

But the lashing waves give me company,

They throng around me

And relieve me from sorrows... if any.

I don't know if I'm secluded,

But the shoes remind me of the days

When we walked and gaped

At the sunset by the sea!!

I don't know if I feel solitary,

But the sea-gulls look down upon me

Wishing if I'd feed them

But I'd rather feed myself, than feeding them.

Loneliness is my Life,

Solitude makes my Day,

At night I have the stars to talk to

But come morning, they also go away.

--- the photograph was taken in the sankarpur beach (aug '07). It needed a piece to xpress itself... so the poem was written sometime later!!